Sorry Miss Doreen...

I have neglected my blog yet again! But just THREE MORE WEEKS and instead of writing papers on cohabitig couples, managing human service offices, inequality in america, and many other things, I can write in my blog =). For those of you who don't already know I got an internship with the YMCA which I'll be starting in January and I won't be working at Hoss's hardly at all so we can actually hang out in the evenings! yay!
But keep me in your prayers (especially this week) so I can get through all this crap in the next few weeks because I'm already getting a headache just thinking about everythig I have to do and all the hours that I'll be working(haha what else is new huh). As for other updates in my life, calypso is still biting her tail (any suggestions as how to stop her?)Brian is still believing for a full time job and making me laugh a lot, all my clothes smell like gas even though the leak is fixed now(hallelujah!), the snow here is beautiful, I got through black friday without seeing someone get trampled, and God is good(all the time!). So I know this isn't a real blog but just an update and a promise that sometime in the near future (as Arnold would put it) I'LL BE BACK YOU GIRLY MEN!

keep the faith

Burned or Buried?

SO i was standing around at work the other day, not because I'm lazy but there was absolutely nothing to do, and the most absurd conversation started among my co workers. I walked into the server station a little sad that my zone was STILL empty with no tables to wait on, and they were talking about what they wanted done with their bodies when they died. One lady wanted to be cremated so her ashes could be sprinkled off the empire state building. This puzzeled me a bit but maybe shes always wanted to go bungie jumping and doesn't have the guts while shes alive??? Maybe New York is the place she loves the most and wants to creep into subway, get crushed into the sidewalk, and freak a whole bunch of people out in the process. One can not be sure but those are only two possibilities I've thought of, maybe you can think of a more logical reason.

Another girl wanted to be cremated and planted directly under a tree so she could grow into the tree and be a part of it. Yet another girl agreed that she wanted to be cremated. They all agreed that they didn't want to be stuck in a box because it freaked them out. What really confused me was that when they would be put in the box and buried they would be dead...so it wouldn't freak them out...because they would be DEAD. Its like they have these weird beliefs that they really aren't going to die but be reincarnated in a tree or a sidewalk or a coffin. Or they don't really understand the concept of being dead.

I had nothing to contribute to this converstaion because honestly I've never thought about it. At first I thought I was weird or something because everyone of my co-workers had it all planned out and I am completely unprepared for my death. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that I'm not weird. When I think about death I think about no more crying, I think about streets of gold lined with mansions, I think about singing with the angels to my Lord and Savior FOREVER AND EVER!!! It doesn't matter what is done to my body because I'm going to be in heaven. I love the fact that nothing in this world can get me down. If the stock market crashes, If terrorists take over our naiton, if ants take over the world like my 12th grade science teacher predicted (seriously), It doesn't matter because when its all over I'm gonna be with Jesus forever. I just have to endure this life for a little while. My Dad talked about that in his sermon today and it completely went a long with what I've been thinking about.

Burn me, Bury me, do whatever you want my only cry is

"Come quickly Lord Jesus!" I know I say that a lot but the more I live in this world the more that is my hearts desire.

Checkin In

NOT TO WORRY EVERYONE I AM STILL ALIVE!

Right now I am very overwhelemed with all the papers, book reviews, tests, and quizzes that I have to finish and as I look ahead in my assignment book it doesn't seem to get any better! consequently I tend to spend all my time on these kinds of things (or watching csi with my family lol) and probably won't have much time to write. But I will try when I have the time. I haven't even seen my roomate in like three days! Crazy.

I really felt the grace of God last night as I just cried out to God because I DO NOT have the strength or ability to get this all done and I was encouraged by this verse:

1 Peter 5:7

Cast all your anxieties on Him because He cares for you.

So hopefully I'll be back on here sooner than later to ramble some more =)

I almost saw a squirrel die

It was a beautiful end of summer/fall day yesterday as I was walking across campus to catch the bus to my car. I had just finished a 30 question test in less than five minutes and was feeling pretty good about myself...well who wouldn't do well when the professor gives you all the answers. Hes not the brightest crayon in the pack although he thinks hes sunny yellow or fluorescent pink. Just to give you an example of his lack of wisdom, one of the questions on the test was multiple choice and asked what the seven steps to a needs assessment were. A legitimate question, BUT, when we were going over the answers for the test, BEFORE the test lol, he said to us "oh...well theres only one answer on here with seven choices so I won't even tell you what the other choices are." I just looked at him in disbelief.

Anyway back to the story.

So I was walkin along feeling good because I know I just got 100% on my test which will boost my grade and GPA, knowing I'm about to go for a run which will eventually put me in really shape, and just being very positive about the future. Being that fall is approaching and soon after so is winter there are squirrels EVERYWHERE collecting nuts as I happily walk along the sidewalk to the bus stop. As I was planning what to wear on my run since it was a tad chilly outside, I looked up to see a guy on a bike coming towards me. This is a common sight on Penn State campus although I have this theory that they're all drug dealers because they roll one pant leg up all the time...or they just want to be like Joe Pa ;) haha i make myself laugh.

Back to the story again

So this guy on a bike is coming towards me and at the same time a squirrel runs across the sidewalk in front of me and just as the biker is RIGHT next to me the squirrel turns around for some odd reason, maybe because they are demon possessed, and runs right under the tire of this guys bike. The guy starts yelling OMGOSH OMGOSH OMGOSH and I look over and all I see is this tail flying through the air and spinning all around. My first thought was "O my gosh he just ran it over and the wheel flung it through the air. EW I HOPE I DON'T HAVE SQUIRREL BLOOD ON ME!!!" But then It jumped off of the guys body and seriously flew like 6 yards over into some bushes and ran away. hahahahaha like ten people stopped and started laughing hysterically and at this point we all realized that it had NOT gotten ran over but ran up the guys leg JUST in time thus saving his own life and escaping death to beg college students for food with those creepy little eyes one more day.

hahahahaha so funny.

AND this reminded me of when we were playing blurt and kaitlin was reading something about animals that fly and I said "SQUIRREL!" and she laughed really hard at me. Most people would think of a bird but no, i think of squirrels.

Ok enough squirrel talk for the day...and week.

Somewhere in the Middle

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

~Casting Crowns


Dont get comfortbable where you are, always let God lead you out of your comfort zone. You never can invite too many people to church, you never can witness to too many people, theres not such a thing as praying too much, and a wore out bible is a good thing! Remember when people think you're crazy thats when God knows your sane, and when sinners laugh and mock you, when they stand in anger with hurtful words, its conviction that drives their hostility. When you think you're too radical, too passionate, too crazy, don't worry you're still not far enough. We can never give God too much, never love Him too much, and never be too radical for Him. So where do you stand? Are you giving it all to Christ or are you somewhere in the middle?

Short n' Sweet

I found myself completely distracted today from school, lectures, homework, conversations, and even EATING(which is rare) because of so many different things going on in my life right now. Theres so much to be done, so many people to pray for, things in my life that need to change, so many disfunctional people and situations, and I'm at a loss as to how to even attempt to fix or at least bandage them. These thoughts left me perplexed, confused, sad, upset, and angry to the point of loss of breath. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was gonna burst outta my chest and run off without me! Since I inherited certain traits from my mother, such as being able to read my feelings by the looks on my face lol, my wonderful roomate could see my distress and sent me this lovely text message:

"Think about how awesome God is."

And I did.

Its amazing how one little simple sentence can clear the mind, slow down the heart, open up my lungs, and give me a peace. So I encourage you today, whether it was a good day or a not so good day, just think about how awesome God is and praise Him for it. =)

that was longer than I thought it would be...lol i think I inherited that from my mother as well ;)

Let the Games Begin!

I just love the olympics. Watching your country's best athletes compete against the best athletes in the world and being able to celebrate with them as they hold up their medals(I am now a fan of Michael Phelps!) and to feel their pain when they drop a baton, fall off the beam, or trip over a hurdle. When I watch all these spectacular and very muscular athletes it kinda makes me feel...well...worthless lol BUT God uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise so I'm set hehe! It always comforts me to know that I don't have to be something special or extraordinary to be used by God, I just have to be humble and obedient! Anyway, I was upset with the judging for the gymnastics because USA should have the team gold, and Nastia should have three gold medals not just one. Not only was Nastia better but its not fair to compete against 8 year olds ::angry face:: I GET TO GO SEE NASTIA AND SHAWN ON OCTOBER 24TH AND I'M SO FREAKIN EXCITED ABOUT IT!!!! So you all will be hearing about it a lot =)

The one event that really amazes me is the decathalon. They have to do so many things and by the end you can tell they are all just dragging and after the last race they are gonna go home and sleep for about 4 days. Well thats what I feel like I'm about to embark on with this semester. I have six classes, five of them are on tuesdays and thursdays meaning I'm on campus from 9am to 8pm and then mondays, fridays, and saturdays I will be at work all day paying the bills. Now this wouldn't be so bad but allll of my classes are 400 level meaning very intensive,very in depth, and alot of papers. This will be my hardest semester at Penn State BUT it will be my last semester of classes because next semester I do my internship. But I'm asking for your prayers as I go through this educational decathalon because I think I've done a good job preparing but you never know when your body is gonna say NO MORE!

As I started to walk to my last class of the day yesterday I thought to myself, "This professor better be really funny looking or something because I'm about to fall asleep". Well, hes not funny looking but he is from New York City! He went to school in Long Island, I think hes from the Bronx, and he has that priceless NYC accent. That kept me awake =) Plus hes got a lot of energy and a good sense of humor so I WILL be able to stay awake until 7:45 when the class is over. What was most interesting about him is that he was a witness to 9/11. He literally saw the first plane hit the world trade center while he was walking to work and only worked a little ways down from the world trade center. One woman who worked for him got a call saying that her son was on one of the planes and what makes it even worse was that her other son worked at the world trade center and both of them died. My professor personally knew 16 people that died on 9/11 and he witnessed people jumping out of the windows. He said to this day he remembers that sound of the bodies hitting the ground and its something you can't get out of your head. The class was very silent while he was telling us about his experiences. He also talked about a train operator who heard about the planes hitting the world trade center and he immediately stopped the trains going underneath them and he saved about 25,000 people that day. I'm sure there are a lot of other heros that we don't hear about too.

While I was at work the other day one of my first tables I got never sat down. Meaning, they pretended to go to the bathroom and then left without telling anyone or paying or even eating anything. They probably didn't like the price of the bill and just decided to split but whatever the case I was confused. I thought to myself "I wonder if I missed the rapture." lol I was only joking around with myself but it really got me thinking. What if a plane flew into the nuclear reactor at Penn State, what if the Lord returned TODAY, what if a car hit me out of no where. I think sometimes we easily forget that we shouldn't be living for this life, but living with eternal mindsets. Its easy to start thinking about the future, and who you might marry, where you might live, how many kids you'll have, where your kids will go to college, how old you will live to be, if you'll have to eat prunes when you're 86 (lol), but we need to live for today. This could be your last day on earth, you have to expect the unexpected and live for God with all that you have TODAY! You may not get a second chance tomorrow...